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cooking, eating right, food, France, french cuisine, french culture, healthy living, Life in Paris, recipe, wine
The third and final principle of Eating like the French is a concept I like to call à table.
In French, à table literally means “at the table” and is how the French inform people when the meal is ready: “à table!” Something like “Dinner’s ready!” I’m employing the phrase here, though, for a slightly different purpose: to explain the French habit of taking time for the culinary side of life and, more specially, sitting down to eat at a table. Notice that the French don’t summon people to eat by announcing the meal is waiting. They call them, quite literally, to the table.
One of the parts of French culture that I love the most is their continued tradition of à table. Families come together for the evening meal. They sit down at the table and talk about their day. It’s all very 1950s, Leave it to Beaver, in fact. But it’s also all very wonderful.
When I was an impossibly busy lawyer back in North America, I used to eat most of my meals on the run. The only time I sat down to eat properly at a table was when I was at a business lunch or at my mom’s house for Easter and Christmas. But even during the client lunches, I’d rush through my food having more important business lurking in the background. For dinner, I’d grab a handful of something and eat standing at the counter. I think many of us North Americans are like that. We’ve forgotten the age-old pleasure of savoring our food, sitting down to a beautifully set table for at least an hour-and-a-half each evening to soak up the experience that is culinary enjoyment. Some of us even eat in front of the TV or, like me, stand at the kitchen counter shoveling our finger-food into our mouths. I was guilty of this too. In fact, that’s how I ate most of my meals back in that former life.
Little French children learn as soon as they begin to eat solid foods that courses are coming one after another, that they are to remain seated until the meal is over, and to eat correctly with a knife and fork, napkin in lap. I have little tiny nephews of 2 ½ years who sit at the big table with their little forks feeding themselves through the entrée, plat, cheese and dessert just like tiny versions of their fathers. It’s incredible, almost unbelievable. And yet not inconceivable.
These children learn by watching. From the very beginning of their lives, they are taught to eat at the table, go through all the courses one by one. All kinds of vegetables too. They are asked what types of cheese they would like to try during the cheese course. They are given small, reasonable portions and eat fruit before they are given a sweet dessert, if they are given one at all. And they are taught to eat slowly. Habitually rushing through a meal to go play or because a program is coming on TV just doesn’t enter the French psyche. That would be inconceivable, sacrilege even.
Remarkably this works and traditional French families churn out adults with some of the best table-manners I’ve ever encountered. And some of the most reasonable eaters too. Funny enough, kitchens in France are designed with their philosophy in mind. The open concept kitchen where you can eat at the counter is called an American kitchen in France. French kitchens have traditionally been closed off from other parts of the house making eating at the table a necessity.
Of course, you can certainly find French families that don’t follow these traditions, just like you can find over-weight, unmannerly and unhealthy French people. With the influx of fast food (although still 100x less than back home), major consumerism, packaged foods, etc, you do get people who throw their hands up and opt for what is easiest. But on the whole the French still benefit from their wholesome culinary traditions.
The trick is to allow time in your day for meals. I know this takes more effort than to throw something together and eat on the run. And I know all too well that we can’t have three sit-down family meals a day. I also realize that even though it is better to eat your biggest meal at lunch time, most of us can’t come home for lunch. Many French children, by the way, still return home for two-hour lunch breaks with their parents. Some working parents even do the same. But not everybody is able to do so in our ever globalized, competitive world. So dinner has become the time when families can reunite to share a meal.
The other key is to eat at regular times and be smart about your snacking. The French eat something for breakfast even if it’s a piece of toast and a café. This has two helpful purposes: first, it gets your metabolism going; and second, it ensures that you don’t overeat at lunch due to ‘starvation’. Then they eat a balanced lunch around 12:30, followed by dinner about 8:30pm. (Children eat dinner earlier but still à table.) Small children have a morning gouter or snack at 10am consisting of something like two small cookies or a piece of bread and butter and a piece of fruit with a glass of water as well as a snack at 4pm. The afternoon gouter turns into l’apéritif as childhood disappears into adulthood and this takes place after work, sometime before dinner. L’apéritif is optional. That’s all the French eat on a regular daily basis. No bags of chips or chocolate bars between meals. No Big Gulps of soda. No constant munching. The stomach is trained to be hungry at certain times and thus once satisfied it doesn’t continuously crave more.
At the culmination this Eating like the French series, I have put together a week’s worth of authentic French dinner menus for autumn. This is how we eat over here in France every evening. If you’d like to try the French way of eating for a week, try these menus as your guide. And remember the three basic principles:
(1) When you are shopping: eat in season (& local).
(2) When you are cooking and serving: portion size! Let the courses do the work!! Start with half of what you would normally serve.
(3) When eating: sit down to dinner, eat slowly, and enjoy the flavors of your food. (Train your stomach and then it will come naturally.)
Now on to the menus: (Click for a better view.)
Weekend ideas:
- Depending on how many you are cooking for, you may have leftovers from your Pear & Bacon Tart as well as your quiche.
- A very fun dinner to make with the kids is Crêpes.
- For a lovely Sunday family lunch, the Chicken in Prune Butter sauce or the Frichti are great options.
If the recipes aren’t already on our site (linked), then you’ll find them below. (Recipes for 4 people)
Figs au bacon
- 100g bacon (alternative 4 small hotdogs)
- 2 rip figs
In frying pan, grill pork until crispy, add figs sauté on med heat for three minutes or until reduced.
Serve hot on small appetizer plate.
Radishes served with baguette & sea salt
- 30 radishes washed, stems removed (7 radishes/ serving)
- 1/2 baguette for 4 people
- Sea salt butter
- Serve cold, nicely arranged on appetizer plate
Salade d’endive with lardon, conté, green apple, walnuts, vinaigrette
- 4 endives chopped (use only leafy part up to halfway)
- 140g Comté cheese (or like) cubed
- 2 green apples
- 10 walnuts chopped
- Grilled lardon (bacon) in strips
- French vinaigrette
Turkey tournedos in onion cream sauce with sautéed mushrooms
- 4 tournedos (~3oz or 85g each)
- 15 mushrooms sliced sautéed in butter
- 1 onion sliced
- 2 tbsp sour cream or heavy cream
- 2 handfuls fresh parsley chopped
- Salt & pepper
Pan fry the tournedos in butter in frying pan with onions. Once the tournedos are cooked, remove to warming plate. Add ½ tbsp butter to same pan of onions, add cream and 1 handful parsley. Stir and let reduce into thick cream sauce. Serve on top of meat. Plate with sautéed mushrooms and sprinkle remaining parsley over the whole.
- 8 carrots grated
- 10 walnuts chopped
- 1 handful raisons
- 3 tbsp walnut oil or olive oil
- 1 tbsp Xérès vinegar or fresh lemon juice
- Sea salt
Breaded pork chops with stewed chestnuts
- 4 pork chops (~3oz or 85g each)
- 1 cup bread crumbs (I made mine from two-day-old bread)
- 2 egg yolks
- 2 handfuls fresh parsley
- 1 handful grated parmesan cheese
Place egg yolks in a shallow bowl. Place bread crumbs in another shallow bowl. Dip chop individually into egg yolk evenly coating the meat with the egg, then coat with bread crumbs. Fry in pan at med heat. Sprinkle with parsley and parmesan mixed together when serving.
Bon appétit!
Asturian Diary said:
Ooh, some lovely looking recipes here. Am loving these posts on the French approach to eating. They have a lot in common with the Spanish. It also reminds me of a summer I spent working in Nice, eating 3 course meals every lunch time (courtesy of luncheon vouchers from work) and my colleagues being horrified if, for example, I drank 2 juices a day rather than one at the correct time for doing so.
Becoming Madame said:
I remember looks like that. I used to get looks for always having a drink (non-alcholoic) in my hand. I had a serious diet coke “addiciton” before coming to France. Before that it was regular coke, but my doctor told me I had to lay off the sugar so I switched to diet. Now I drink so much more water than ever before. You know, that’s a whole other topic! 😉 Thank for your comment! Take care.
michelinewalker said:
What a fine blog. You’ve taken me to France once again. Happy memories surface.
Thank you for writing a fine and complete article on eating in France. Bien cordialement, Micheline
Sue Brown said:
What a wonderful reminder that mealtimes enable us to slow down and turn off ‘work mode’ for a while. Food is much more than just re-fuelling 🙂
Becoming Madame said:
Hear, hear! Couldn’t have said it better! Thanks for putting it in those words, Sue!
Sinead said:
Great post, I really enjoyed reading this! I love French culture, it’s so unlike any other
jacqui722 said:
I just love your blog…so interesting and very informative. I am really enjoying this latest series about French meals- I would love to incorporate this way of eating into my family meal times. Thanks! Jacqui
Becoming Madame said:
You are most welcome, Jacqui. Let me know if you try it out for a bit. Love to know how it works for you. Take care!
newpillowbook said:
I think one of the most useful things about this post is the quantities you give! We’ve become so used to gorging. Then again, maybe the most useful part is the idea of a regular schedule for eating – the diet books that urge us never ever to become hungry for fear we’ll run amok and eat the kitchen counter don’t help us control our food.
Becoming Madame said:
This is an excellent point, newpillow. My sister-in-law is a doctor, actually she specializes in stomach cancer, and she told me that your body needs to feel hunger. The enzymes, hormones, chemicals – whatever they are – which secrete when the body feels hunger have been shown to act in the prevention of stomach cancer. I completely forgot to mention that. But you’re absolutely right. We need to feel those “hunger pains” before adding more food. And on a personal note, I find that I digest a thousand percent better if I let my body go through the entire cycle before adding more on top.
Susan Reilly DeVore said:
More menus, please!
Your series “Eating Like the French” has TRULY inspired me!
Each chapter was perfectly placed and #3 was the “pièce de résistance”!
JUST what I need to implement your suggestions!
I am proud to say that we have always eaten our dinner à table ~ as my own mother had always insisted ……. our adult children now realize its importance…..
I will try your menu plan next week ~ after gathering the necessary ingredients.
Please do not stop offering more menu suggestions! That is the sure way to keep me going!!!
Merci beaucoup, mon amie!
Becoming Madame said:
I’m thrilled you found it helpful, Susan! I will certainly contain with the menus. Please do let me know what they turn out next week. This was meant just as a template. It wonderful to mix and match the items. My mother-in-law just sent me several recipes for figs, so I’ll include those too. Take care!
robincoyle said:
My daughter gave me the book “Lunch in Paris.” Have you read it? Delightful book and she talks about the importance of meals in France in much the same way are you are. She also includes recipes and she has a wonderful dry sense of humor.
Becoming Madame said:
You know, I have that book sitting on my bookshelf. My mom gave it to me last year, I think. I pursued through the first chapter but haven’t yet taken the plunge. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
valerie said:
The third and final principle…..please, say it ain’t so! I want to keep on reading about this subject long after this post. This was such an informative series. It brings to mind when my daughter attended high school in Alsace France, the lunch menu in the “restaurant” [not cafeteria] followed the same principles you speak of above. I thought to myself, “do they really eat this way?” They do indeed! Very well done Madame. You must write a cookbook!
Becoming Madame said:
When I’m back visiting, I like to have dinner parties and do it like we do here. It’s really good fun and something different for my friends and family. I’ll work on a more in-depth cheese post.
njbrown said:
I don’t overeat, but I confess I get hungry (for more) reading your amounts. Without the wine, would you have the minimum daily requirement of calories? The length of time between lunch and dinner would have me gnawing on the furniture. Clearly, I’d never make it in France.
Best wishes,
Nancy
Becoming Madame said:
Dear Nancy, I’ve never really been one to focus too much on calories, so I’m afraid I don’t have an exact answer for you in terms of calories per meal. But given that these menus are only one of the three meals per day – omitting the aperitif altogether – I’m certain the average French person eats at least the 2000 cal recommended (not counting the wine). When I was last home, I went to my doctor in our town and she was so pleased at how healthy I was. And the part that I appreciate the most is that my weight is stable. I fluctuate about a lbs or two throughout the year, but not more. This is a change from my previous eating habits. The thing is: because the food is so rich and savory, the meals are remarkably satisfying even when there are small portions.
And one thing I forgot to mention is soups. Autumn and winter are the time for fabulous stews and potages, as soup is frequently called in France. I have some excellent recipes from my belle-mère I’ll add.
Anyway, French eating certainly isn’t for everyone. I just wanted to give a glimpse into the realities of it for those who might be interested. Oh, and, for the lapse between lunch and dinner, many do have a snack (aperitif) after work which cuts that longer wait by a third.
One other thought: I recently had a debate with my stepdad about eating dinner later. He eats at 6pm, we eat around 8-8:30pm. He was arguing that it’s better for your metabolism to eat earlier – digestion and all. The trouble, as I pointed out to him, is that he eats at 6pm but them around 9pm as he watches the news or a show he gets hungry again and snacks until bedtime. By contrast, we finish eating the large part of our meal by 9:30 and then don’t eat again until the next day.
In the end, though, I think it all comes down to what you are used to and what works for you. If you’re healthy, I won’t change a thing!! 🙂
njbrown said:
So glad to know an afternoon snack is a possibility. That would make it doable for me. The North American way certainly isn’t working for most people!
With regard to family dinners, I began to see the change when fathers began making longer commutes, more mothers were working, dinner became time in front of the TV, and children began to be a numerous activities rather than eating with their parents and then doing their homework. All in all, the French approach is superior.
Another question: are the French into exercise along with prudent eating?
Best wishes,
Nancy
Becoming Madame said:
There are gyms in France, especially in Paris and the other larger cities. But I wouldn’t say that going to the gym is ‘a thing’ like it is back home. People in Paris walk a great deal. It would be nothing to walk several blocks to the store and back – up to a km, walk to a restaurant, walk to the pharmacy. And the French use their parks and gardens a great deal. They bike to work. I think organic exercise in that way is a ritual of French life, yes. Sports too. There are a lot of tennis players, I’ve noticed. I find them outdoorsy like Canadians, if I could make such a generalization. But you don’t see as many joggers or people going to the gym as in NA – that’s for sure. My mom is convinced that the French get a great deal more exercise than NA, though, because NA have the habit of driving everywhere. Wishing you a wonderful weekend!
noora said:
Hi, I really like your blog. I can find so many familiar things here that I’ve experienced with my french man.
And I just couldn’t help smiling when you wrote about courses when eating. It took me years to learn to cut down portion sizes. The worst mistake I’ve made was about year ago when we had lunch at my boyfriends grandfather’s place. We skipped breakfast and arrived there really hungry. I literally forgot the french way and were stuffed after two first courses, didn’t realise that there was 4 more to come. Three hours later when lunch was over and it was time to get up I wasn’t sure if I could physically stand anymore… Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson now!
Becoming Madame said:
Poor you! I have learned so many of these types of lessons the hard way too. And the strange thing is so much of it we know intellectually, but for whatever reason we have to live through the utter pain (maybe even a little humiliation) for it to really sink it. Thanks for stopping by, and take care!
megalagom said:
Great post! Great timing as just last night I told my husband we would be much better off if we bought a table to eat at and where we could read the paper. A place that we could use to get away from the couch, bed, computers and TV and just focus on what we are doing.
Becoming Madame said:
I so totally agree. We need a place away from technology for a moment. Plus a table, like the kitchen, is the heart of the home, the gathering spot. I love having a table. Even when my husband, then boyfriend, lived in a little studio, we took an told bridge table from his parents and set it up like a dining table. It made all the difference turning that apartment into a home! I hope you do get one soon!
Carrie said:
Brings back fond memories of france and my host mom or dad knocking on the door…”A Table!” 😉
Anastasia Hertrich said:
Hello, Madame,
I was waiting impatiently for this post- and the addition of the menu took me pleasantly by surprise! I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a tournedo in the States. How many ounces is it per serving, in case I have to go to the butcher?
Many thanks for this post and the recipes, which I love, love, love! It’s one thing to have a cookbook with french recipes, but quite another to get traditional “family meal” ideas first-hand. I am so excited to try these!
Becoming Madame said:
You can substitute the tournedos for a chicken or turkey breast or a filet if you want. I’m not sure of the exact oz because they always come prepared here, but I’m headed to the market this afternoon, so I’ll check and get back to you. Please let me know how the menus turn out!
Becoming Madame said:
I just got back from the store where I bought two tournedos. Together they are 9 oz (0,25kg), so we’re looking at about 4-4,5 oz each. I hope you are able to find them where you are!
Brigitte said:
So glad I found you! I noted you’d visited my blog and I had to come over. So glad I did, Madame and I’m following you. Thanks for following me. This is a delight and I can’t wait to read more! sooooooo wonderful!!!!
Becoming Madame said:
Thank you Brigitte! So very kind of you and so nice to hear!! Most appreciated!
Kimby said:
I agree with you entirely. Eating smaller portions of exquisitely satisfying food leaves no room for “munchies.” By the way, your pear & bacon tart is wonderful! I also like your idea of mandatory dark chocolate with wine.
Becoming Madame said:
I’m so glad you enjoyed the tart! I just came up with another one last night, but it wasn’t as refined as the pear and bacon. Once I get it just right, I’ll post it too. Thanks for letting me know!
emariaenterprises said:
By the way, I don’t know if this has happened to you before, but this blog has just been nominated for a Sunshine award. It was the wonderful recipes that made my day, especially the Stewed Chestnuts. I have a chestnut tree across the street at an abandoned house, and I’m going to harvest those nuts 🙂 I’m sure you’ve also been nominated for gastronomical awards as well (if not, why not?)
Becoming Madame said:
Thank you very much indeed! Please let me know how the chestnets turn out! Hope you have a great weekend.
emariaenterprises said:
I will. I’m harvesting the chestnuts this afternoon. they are falling out all over the place. the tall grass makes it a little difficult but I think the leaf rake will help with that.
Flake And Cake said:
Thank you so much for the like – I’m so glad you did because I absolutely love your blog. It is so interesting to read about your life in Paris and all of the French quirks and ways of life. It reminds me of an ethnography – like Kate Fox ‘Watching the English’. Thanks again and look forward to reading more of your posts soon!
Becoming Madame said:
Thank you! I love your recipe for beer cake, btw. I’m going to give that a try this weekend. Thank you for the know-how! Take care.
WordsAndPeace said:
thanks for your great post! Having lived in the US for over 10 years, I realized I’m still more French than I thought when I read what you said about kids staying put when eating. I stupidly thought that was the norm in the US too… We have to spread the word, apart from manners it’s so much better for your health!
Becoming Madame said:
I didn’t realize you are French. I’d love to know what other cultural details you’ve noticed while living in the US. What part of the States do you live in?
WordsAndPeace said:
Thanks! I live in Illinois. Actually I wrote a guest post on that topic in July. see here: http://wordsandpeace.com/2012/07/27/i-love-france-26-a-french-woman-in-the-us/
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Morgan Forrest said:
Your whole “Eating like the French” series has seriously been life changing. My boyfriend and myself have become so much more aware of our horribly American eating habits and are beginning to make major changes. I used to be someone who ate until I was stuffed to the brim and couldn’t tolerate feeling even slightly hungry. Since reading your posts, I have been eating 3 meals a day, half the portions that I used to eat, and taking my time to enjoy the food —- and you’re spot on! I’m perfectly satisfied with the amount of food, and I’ve noticed that I know CAN’T eat as much as I used to now that my body has become more accustomed to this way of living.
I know that you posted a week’s worth of dinners, but I was wondering if you could occasionally post some more ideas for dinners that you cook for your family. It would be great to have more ideas of realistic French family dinners.
Mary said:
Hi There! I’m really enjoying your articles. I have some random questions for you. How much wine do the French drink a day and do they drink every dinner? And do they just put the cork back in the bottle and finish it the next day? I always find that wine the next day in an open bottle isn’t as good. Also, do you have dark chocolate every day, and do you have it after dessert? Thanks for the insight! I would love to see the same recipe grid for breakfast lunch and snacks 🙂
hopilue said:
That is strange. How come some of the french enjoy a slice of cheese and then yogurt with fruit for dessert?
starkittyface said:
I have a few questions similar to Mary: Do you eat the dark chocolate only after dinner or after lunch as well? Also, is lunch your largest meal of the day so then the courses are slightly larger or only dinner? Which is your largest course in all four courses?
Thank you!
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