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becoming madame, book review, books, conquering babel, France, French, Life in Paris, lifestyle, Literature, reading, Travel
A few weeks ago, a lady by the name of Claire Handscombe, a trilingual language teacher based in Brussels, asked me to review her book on learning a second language, cleverly entitled Conquering Babel. I agreed, thinking the topic was justly in line with the theme of living as an expat in a foreign country, in foreign language, which I write so much about. I had been giving some thought recently to writing a post on how difficult it was for me to learn French when I first came to Paris. I suppose now is as good a time as any.
Becoming bilingual was one of my childhood dreams and one that five years ago I would have told you, brokenhearted, was absolutely unachievable. I am happy to tell you I was dead wrong. Thank goodness!
It didn’t happen overnight, though. Learning a second language in my early thirties was equivalent to climbing Mount Everest. I have never been a great mathematician, and they say those who are good with numbers are good with languages. Supposedly, some part of the brain controls the two in a similar fashion. I know nothing about all that. But I can tell you that in my case the maxim was proven correct.
When I first arrived in Paris, it was for a five-month sabbatical to, justement, learn French. I had always wanted to be fluent in another language, thought it an invaluable gift, and being in love with France saw no other language on the horizon.
Thinking back on how confident I was when I hopped on the plane to Paris back in 2007 brings an embarrassed smile to my lips. I remember saying to myself, ‘In five months times I’m going to be on the return flight speaking fluent French with the person beside me.’ I actually laugh aloud when I think of it now. Fluent in five months. Yes. Indeed.
Five years later, I can happily acknowledge that I am fluent in French. Fluent in the sense that my life revolves around me in French on a daily basis and I am no longer petrified of the fact. Fluent in the sense that I can pick up the phone to make a doctor’s appointment and the knot that used to sink in my stomach and rise into my throat in the early years no longer threatens me. I’ve been fluent, I suppose, for a few years now, even though I wouldn’t have called it so at the time.
At many moments along the journey, I thought I was going to give up, pack it in and just live in the rather expansive Anglophone population of Paris rather than assimilating myself into the culture and the language. But something stopped me from throwing in the towel, so to speak, after I hit the first brick wall in the learning curve. I think it was my seat-rooted desire to belong, perhaps that old longing to be bilingual, and it was certainly thanks to a wish not only to live in France but to create a home here.
The latter desire became irreversibly apparent to me one evening early on in my time in Paris when I was at an expat party with several dozen, well-to-do, sophisticated couples. When two of the ladies, both fulltime residents of Paris since the 1970s, asked me to accompany them to speak with a French neighbor about some trifling problem, I was horrified to witness how appallingly they spoke French, their blatant disregard for proper vocabulary and accent, and their rudeness toward the uncomprehending French neighbor. I was humiliated and ashamed of these two ladies, my own countrywomen no less. I decided that very moment that I was going to assimilate if it was the last thing in this world that I accomplished.
Had I read Conquering Babel in those early years, my experience with learning a second language would have been much less mysterious, less stressful, less overwhelming. I had to learn the tricks and tools Ms. Handscombe offers the hard way, by trial and error.
Conquering Babel is a compact, self-help manual for those interested in learning a second language. I read it through in a few hours one afternoon and would recommend it to anyone contemplating learning a new language or who is in the process of doing so, and especially to those who are learning another language for the first time. I wish I’d had it on my shelf as a reference when my adventure here in France began. Stocked full of excellent advice and tips, profession-insider tricks and tools, Conquering Babel is worth a read by every expat and every student of language.
Written in the form of an in-depth guide, this book is easy to read, well-written and logically organized. Structured through the principle steps of learning a language – Grammar, Writing, Listening and Speaking – the book begins with the essential topic of motivation, which is of course the key to learning a new language. It is obvious to the reader from the first page that the author is an engaged teacher. She provides us with what we could call a fail-proof method of learning a new language. Sprinkled with humor, charm and anecdotal reinforcement, we feel like our big sister is imparting on us some of her seasoned and tested advice.
The glossary in the sixth chapter as well as the list of websites at the end of the book are both extremely useful guides for those who are picking up a self-learning language workbook for the first time. Her advice is simple and many of us might think, ‘Oh I know that already.’ But that is precisely the brilliance of Ms. Handscombe’s method. You might think you know it, but very few of us do it. And yet we must in order to succeed. Reading the news online each morning over your coffee in your target language (the language you want to learn), flipping through a ‘parallel text’ book or using contextual ‘pegs’ to include one’s surroundings as references to vocabulary building, even writing down the new words you learn so that your mind sees the letters in your own familiar handwriting, are all tips among dozens of others which fill the pages of Conquering Babel.
I can give this recommendation with confidence because I have been on one end of the ‘please dear Lord let me learn French’ void, and have now made the giant, if not painful, leap to the other side.
After my five months sabbatical at la Sorbonne, an excellent French language program by the way, I was still too shy or too embarrassed to speak to anyone in French. When I first moved to Paris, I couldn’t speak a sentence of coherent French to save my life. And as is only natural, the friends I made at the beginning were an international group whose dearest common thread was our mutual ability to speak English. Thus, my opportunities to practice a real conversation were quite limited. No one who can speak fluently in one language will put up with bumbling through a conversation in another for more than a few minutes. And so, regardless of my improvement in grammar, my spoken French suffered.
Language is a skill that needs to be practiced, like learning to ride a bike when you were four or five years old. You have to try, fall down, get back on again and keep going until you can pedal all the way around the block without your training wheels. Learning a new language is exactly the same. You’ll advance if you try and then you’ll inevitably hit a wall and think it’s all over and a pointless waste of time. But that’s just you falling off the bike. Get up. Wipe of your knees and get back on. It took me a year of real effort, three months of which was an intensive self-imposed immersion (even the emails to my mom had to be in French, so she was forced to by a French-English translation program) before I left I could carry on a proper conversation. And by real effort, I mean I made it my second job. All the films and television I watched were in French (with only French subtitles), all the books and magazines I read and all the conversations and telephone calls I had were in French; everything was in French. That’s immersion.
Ms. Handscombe disagrees with the bike riding analogy for learning a language, although it seems she would have agreed with me on the immersion idea. She says language is not like riding a bike because you cannot just pick a language out of the garage after seven years of non-use and ride it down the street. Rust, she says, creeps in on your linguistic bike. True. Practice at the beginning is essential, and upkeep is indispensable. But the learning part – the falling down, hitting that wall and getting back on – is still a cogent description of the process.
After my three-month immersion, I sat down with a French biography of Marie-Antoinette by Stefan Zweig. This book was relatively advanced for my level. My teachers at la Sorbonne had given me L’étranger by Camus and 50 idée reçu sur l’état du monde by Pascal Boniface; either one would have been more appropriate for my ability. But I love biographies and I love Zweig, so I thought I’d give it a go. My goal was to underline each word I didn’t understand, go back at the end of the chapter to look each up in the dictionary and then write them down with their translation in my dedicated vocabulary notebook. The day I opened the first page, I underlined seven words in the first two paragraphs. I was a little in over my head. But I was determined.
At the time, I was six weeks away from meeting my then-boyfriend’s French parents for the first time. Naturally, I wanted to give a good impression, and I knew that all the charm my boyfriend saw in me could very easily be lost on his parents if I couldn’t at least articulate my way through a decent greeting and little light dinner-party discussion.
So a good reason stood behind my desire to conquer Zweig in French. The first few days I read Marie-Antoinette, I stopped every few pages to look up words, translate them and write them down. Then I’d reread the passage to make sure I understood. Eventually, I got to the point where I looked up the words at the end of each chapter, and finally by the end of the book I no longer needed to translate at all. I was fascinated by the topic, which helps. Ms. Handscombe reiterates this point – the having fun with language idea – many times throughout her book.
As a language tutor, Ms. Handscombe recommends tutoring as one of the best ways, if not the most efficient way, to learn a new language. In a few sections, the reader might even find her tone a little commercial. Yet Ms. Handscombe’s self-interest doesn’t overshadow the truth of what she is saying. Having undertaken many forms of language learning myself and being one of those people who are not predisposed to talent in languages, I’m inclined to agree with her. Self-study and immersion are finally the two approaches, along with the courses on the basics (grammar) at the Sorbonne, which worked for me. (But remember I started with nothing, not a coherent sentence.) The courses gave me an excellent foundation, but even with that base I could not bring myself to speak. If I’d had a tutor during my self-study, however, in the privacy of one-on-one communication I would have progressed more quickly, been more organized (someone is expecting me today with my homework completed!) and would have had an encouraging tap on the back when I hit that brick wall for the first time.
Conquering Babel: A practical guide to learning a language, is just that – a no-nonsense, up-to-date manual, packed full to the brim of profession-insider tips on how to successfully learn a new language as an adult. Because you can, I’m living proof of it!
Sold on Amazon for $3.50 or through the author’s website: http://conqueringbabel.wordpress.com.
BelRedRoad said:
“You have to try, fall down, get back on again and keep going until you can pedal all the way around the block without your training wheels.”
Perfect advice, and especially helpful right now as I’m trying to strengthen my Spanish-speaking skills. Thank you 🙂
Becoming Madame said:
Je vous en pris.
Cynthia Bertelsen said:
An absolutely terrific post, Madame! Oh, how I identify with the struggle – I’m still taking French lessons, have one this afternoon. We’re reading Muriel Barbery’s Une gourmandise (2000) and I have to say the underlining thing is what I do, too.
I doubt I will ever be fluent like I should be, but one can only hope.
Your post gives me courage!
mobius faith said:
Thanks. I actually feel there’s hope yet for my 50+year old brain. 🙂
michaeltuuk said:
Good to hear your story and thanks for the review. I have always wanted to learn a second language…I’m somewhat intimidated by it though. You’ve inspired me to get going on it as much as time will allow…
On a side note, when my wife and I visited Paris a couple years ago we learned as much as we could (ie not much at all) before getting there. While we were extremely embarrassed in our attempts to use it, we found the locals to be very understanding and very helpful. They were not only willing to help in the particular thing we were asking, etc. but in each conversation we always asked for help with our French and got a mini tutoring session each time. They always seemed to appreciate our attempts to engage them in French and improve our use of it.
Becoming Madame said:
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and found it useful. If you are going to do a self-study, I would recommend taking a peek at Conquering Babel. The advice she gives is straight-forward and very useful. I was intimidated too when I began to learn French. There’s this silly feeling that you come across to others as a child and you feel like explaining to everyone you talk to, ‘Listen, I’m an intelligent person, highly educated even, and I know none of that is coming across in this conversation.’ But it’s like with everything else in life, you just have to do it. Put your ego on the back-burner and get on with it. Baby steps all the way to the finish line. As to your side note, the French are very appreciative of tourists who try at least the greeting in French. It’s respectful, isn’t it? And they love to tell you how difficult their grammar is. They have good reason. 🙂 All my best with your second language adventures!
Shary Hover said:
I had excellent teachers when I studied French in HS and in college, but I never could have learned to speak the language without living there. When I came back to the U.S. after a year in France, I might not have been exactly fluent, but I spoke the language well. I don’t anymore. Visits with my French friends help, but I feel like I’d need to live in France again to regain my language skills. But maybe I just need Ms. Handscombe’s book.
megalagom said:
What a great review and break down of your language learning experience. I can certainly relate and it is great hearing that you are so fluent now- even if you didn’t consider yourself to be fluent until 5 years later. Its success to the degree of comfort, and that’s what I need. I know it will take a long time for me to be able to speak, to get rid of the anxiety, but it always helps hearing it from a fellow expat. I will certainly pic up this book, thank you!
veronique savoye said:
Bonjour. As a French language teacher specializing in adult education here in the US, I command your motivation and determination to learn the language and culture of the country you live in. I was luckier than you when we moved to the Seattle area 16 years ago and was already fluent in English (completing part of my college education in the United States and majoring in American Studies while studying for my M.A. in Paris helped, that’s true 😉 I suspect my experience of living in the US might have been very different had I only spoken French. Come to think of it, many French women I met here over the years ended up moving back to France and gave up. Still, I, too, had moments when things got difficult and I got ready to throw the towel many times in the life long process of learning the English language. I am happy that both of us stuck it out, and can now lead fully functional lives in a foreign country. The book you mention sounds very interesting. I will take a look at it and will recommend it to my French students (some get discouraged at times.) Bonne journee! Veronique (French GIrl in Seattle)
Becoming Madame said:
Thanks so much for your comment! It’s lovely to hear from someone doing the reverse of what happening in my life. I think, in the end, discouragement is the real devil of learning a second language. When it gets the most frustrating and the most seemingly impossible, that’s when we’re just around the corner from being able to hold a decent conversation. Je vous souhaite une excellente journée, et à très bientôt j’espère.
denisekathleen said:
Thank you for this, very much. I’ve been sort of, kind of trying to learn Italian for the last few years, but now with a possible move to Quebec, I’ve turned my attention to French. In Canada we have the opportunity to learn French in school, and now even in the west have French Immersion schools for children as an option over English-speaking schools. For me tho, without the immersion, 12 years of French a few hours a week 30 years ago is of no use to me now! My mother spoke only French until she was of school age, but then was sent to Catholic school with English-speaking Nuns where French was not permitted. She never spoke French to us, not once. What a blessing it would have been to have been raised with both languages! I will read Ms Handscombe’s book and remember your experience as I take on this exciting challenge.
crumpetkitchen said:
Thanks for the review – the book sounds helpful, both for language students and for their teachers. And thanks too for being so honest about the need to learn the local language. We get those expats here too… twenty years in the country and they can barely say “bonjour”, because they’re too busy, etc. etc. Would they stand for it if the tables were turned?! Hah!
I have exactly the same problem as you with learning languages: I may have studied 7 but can manage to hold a conversation in 3, despite my best efforts! (And know I understand why I’m so terrible with percentages!) But the only way I’ve found is to actually live in the country, and most of all to do – as you did – nothing but listen, speak, read, write in that language, no matter how embarrassing or awkward or tiring it felt. And boy, can it be all those three!
crumpetkitchen said:
‘now’, not ‘know’… This is also the secondary effect of living in a second language. The first goes fast, terrifyingly fast, down the plughole!
Becoming Madame said:
It’s so true, isn’t it. English speakers have so little patience with those who don’t speak our language well and yet we have the – is audacity too harsh a word? – to expect they will when we’re in their country too! Wow! Being trilingual is fabulous!! Well done.
binNotes said:
Nice to know there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Merci~
Spoon Feast said:
I have been learning French for 3 years now. Immersion is what I need next; I like your advice to read, write and just do it, in French (target language). Hum. Just do it.
I need to gain confidence in writing and conversation too.
Thanks for this, one day I will be fluent too. Now I’m going to go buy the book and get busy again.
Becoming Madame said:
There are some immserion programs in Southern France (getting out of the big cities, especially Paris, if your goal is to learn the language is essential). A friend of mine did one in Provence a few years back. If you have a month-six weeks to devote to something like that, it’s a really super idea. I’ll try to find the details for you. Take care!
Spoon Feast said:
That would be wonderful. I have always said that if I ever get to Provence, I may never go anywhere again. Any information you could send my way would be much appreciated!
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emfivek said:
Thanks for the encouragement! I have been living in France for 6.5 months now and I have to admit, sometimes it feels like I am stuck in one place and other times it feels like I am really progressing with my language skills. This guide sounds really great! I’m going to look into it.
Becoming Madame said:
You’re just hitting the wall. You’re actually progressing during those down moments, you just can’t tell. Try surrounding yourself as much as possible with French, even better, if you live here do a self-imposed immersion for three months. You’ll come out of it speaking French! 🙂
holwal said:
It’s very inspiring to hear that you were able to become fluent in French later in life! I can speak and read very, very basic French and German and and time I find myself surrounded by people who can speak these languages or others I am so filled with envy. This gives me hope that it’s not too late for me 🙂
russelllindsey said:
I studied Spanish for over a decade and lived in Ecuador and Spain for four months each. I regret not keeping up with it! It isn’t that I lost all my Spanish, it is that I know it would take some time before I would be comfortable using Spanish on a daily basis once again. Sometimes Spanish words pop in my head.
I still want to learn Portuguese and Italian, not sure why.
Lindsey
Becoming Madame said:
Oh, you should! They say once you learn one of the Roman languages the others come quickly. I can read Italian and Spanish, for instance, having French under my belt. But I tend to speak French to Italians (the accent) and we come to an understanding! 🙂 All my best, Lindsey.
russelllindsey said:
That is precisely why I wish I’d been forced to learn Latin as a child. It would’ve made learning Romance languages that much easier.
I may have to dig into Portuguese and Italian.
Lindsey
russelllindsey said:
Thank you for this great post by the way!
Lindsey
russelllindsey said:
Reblogged this on Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde and commented:
This post caught my attention. I’m ashamed to admit the extent to which I let my Spanish skills go. They’re still there, lurking, waiting to surface once again. Language always has and always will intrigue me. I still want to learn Portuguese and Italian.
pedmar10 said:
good write up, and for me in France since 2003 from Florida; I can said had it easier as already married to a French many years before. However, the biggest mistake people make when coming over is to spend too much time with the expats community and not assimmilate into French life. The quicker you can do the quicker the language and everything that goes with it will be better.Cheers
Becoming Madame said:
I couldn’t agree more. I spent the first year exclusively in the expat community, hence the slow progress at the beginning. It really wasn’t until I did the self-imposed immersion that the language really took hold.
pedmar10 said:
you got the idea, good for you. Bon continuation.
The World is my Curtlefish said:
Thanks for this. I am trying to learn another language. This post has given me renewed hope.
Becoming Madame said:
I’m so glad. A second language is such a gift! I wish you all the very best with your endeavor!!
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m3lly78 said:
Sounds like a useful book for me to checkout for my German studies.
I really enjoyed reading about your whole process; the struggles and successes along the way. Immersion does sound like the only way. I put post-it notes of everything in the German name around my house, and find that really helps!
As always, a wonderfully written post!
brushneedleandwhisk said:
Hi, I’ve nominated your blog for the Sunshine award, I really think your blog deserves it. The details are here:
http://brushneedleandwhisk.wordpress.com/
Becoming Madame said:
Thank you very much! Truly appreciated!
Michi said:
This is terrific. It really is difficult to learn another language, especially after the age of 12, and it’s great to have the determination you did! I also cringe when people speak a language without having respect for its accents or grammar – a beginner is one thing, but an actual resident of the country for over 30 years is completely another.
I’ve been debating on picking up a third language (and am actually leaning towards French!), but would really love to learn it via immersion after having learned the actual basics. You can bet I’ll refer back to this post when that time comes.
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singingbones said:
I like your post! there are many things you write which I can so relate to,
“Five years later, I can happily acknowledge that I am fluent in French. Fluent in the sense that my life revolves around me in French on a daily basis and I am no longer petrified of the fact. Fluent in the sense that I can pick up the phone to make a doctor’s appointment and the knot that used to sink in my stomach and rise into my throat in the early years no longer threatens me.”
I have had this same experience with being terrifed of the telephone in Denmark many times. I really agree about feeling like such an idiot, even though I know that back there in the USA I thought of myself as an intelligent, well spoken person! Thanks for the encouraging words. SB
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