Tags
acne, becoming madame, France, lifestyle, makeup, Paris, paris life, UTI
So we hear French women are infamous for their elegant sophistication, their self-confidence, and their Chanel-inspired chic femininity. I know, I’ve heard it too, but the thing is, it’s all true. French woman have some sort of genetic or ingrained sense of themselves. Even if they are not traditionally pretty in an American sense, they are alluring, so much so that we don’t even notice they aren’t Grace Kelly’s spitting image. It’s all true: Parisian women are chic, French woman are seductive (in every sense).
I’ve learned so much from being an inside-observer here in Paris. Over the last six years, my own clothing style, makeup habits, grooming routines have all been greatly influenced by my close observations of French women. Since becoming part of my belle-famille, however, the lessons have exponentially increased. My mother-in-law and my two sisters-in-law and my thirty-odd female cousins-in-law have all taken me under their wing to acquaint me with the secrets of French femininity. Some of the rituals they tell me about date from a great-great-great-grand mother who used her own cream concoction on her skin and lived well into her nineties with not a wrinkle on her face. Such secrets I am going to share with you in these pieces on French Beauty.
But I must start at the beginning…
The first lesson I learned when I came to Paris was that in order not to stick out like the obvious tourist that I was, and yet was desperately trying not to be, I needed to wear less makeup or more specifically not be so made-up. For those of you who know me fairly well, you will realize that this is a pretty remarkable suggestion since I never thought I wore much makeup to start with. Certainly compared to many of the Southern Belles I grew up around, I hardly indulged.
But it’s not really about all makeup. It’s about foundation. And it’s about application. Thick, cakey foundation is a no-brainer for the French. The men hate it, makes them think, according to my husband and his friends, of a clown or a girl you’d take out to a club but would never bring home to meet Mom. I started to look around and noticed that French women, for the most part, don’t wear foundation. Or, if they do, they apply it so sparingly that you cannot tell they have any on. If you need a foundation to cover spots or blemishes, I’m with you. And there are some tricks as to how to make it look like you have that French perfect skin without the cake face. I use, for instance, a cream foundation stick (by Terry) well matched to my skin tone and just dot it on the spots that need camouflage with my index finger. This works really well. The trick is finding the perfect color for your skin tone and blending! Here’s another guide: a wonderful make artist I recently discovered who does a terrific job in her videos explaining how to achieve flawless cover-up. Although she is British and we’re talking about French beauty tips, she is excessively talented (and her videos are in English).
So for a fabulously French, perfect complexion, take a peek; it’s worth your next ten minutes.
The second thing I noticed when I first arrived in France was that Parisian woman are not thoroughly put together like some of us Americans. Save for the rather aristocratic ladies who wear matching Chanel suits, scarves, bags and shoes, most French women mix and match to achieve an effortless look. This advice, ironically enough, comes straight from Chanel herself. She once said: Before you leave the house, take one accessory off your body.
Simplistic elegance is the key. But so is accessorizing. This is a fine line. For those of you who never put on a necklace or a belt, have worn the same studs in your ears everyday for the last few years, think about introducing a long strand of pearls with a navy blazer, tee and jeans. For those of you who align yourselves more with Elizabeth Taylor, try focusing on one main eye attracting accessory at a time. If you’ve got gorgeous earrings, leave the necklace at home. If you have a busy patterned dress, forgo other accessories except for perhaps a few bangles. Less is more.
The same rule applies to your makeup: If you are going for a red lip, lay off of the blusher and smokey eyes. If you want a dramatic eye for the evening, think of going for a pale lip. For daily wear, the goal is to look like you don’t have makeup on, that you got up, brushed your teeth and hair and vavoom you’re gorgeous. That’s what the French do.
French ladies actually spend a great deal of time on their grooming, they just don’t tell. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. People just think that your nails are naturally perfectly manicured and fabulous, that you have beautiful skin (and you didn’t use the Eldridge tricks in the video above), you just threw on the first thing you saw in your closet because, and here’s the key to French women’s confidence, you are so much more than what meets the eye.
French women are so confident, I should say appear so confident, that it’s almost alarming. The truth is they are just as neurotic as you and me. True, they are taught certain truths about femininity from birth which make them more intriguing (we’ll get to those courtesy of my sisters-in-law), more open to male attention, more at ease with themselves. They don’t want to look perfect, for instance. Perfection is boring and the French are easily bored. Where the American is constantly searching for some objective level of perfected beauty, a French woman is optimizing her own level of attractiveness – which in the end is not perfect at all. It’s alluring. It’s captivating.
It’s true that French women are callously competitive, but aren’t we all? Can we rightly single out the French woman as any worse than any of the rest of us?
I don’t agree with those who say French women are obsessed about their weight. But that is a whole different subject for a whole new post.
So the first few beauty tips I learned from the French include: (1) go for fabulously flawless skin, not piles of makeup; (2) in the day, makeup should look non-existent; (3) accessorize well, not too much, think of one eye-catching piece at a time; (4) go for the effortless look (even if it isn’t at all effortless); and (5) be confident, or fake it till you are!
emilygotta said:
Thanks for the tips! Very interesting to compare to American habits.
jodowbiggin said:
Okay, so I notice all the differences between Costa Rican women’s fashion and American (/Canadian- because we’re the same here) fashion. Americans in comparison have a much more relaxed, mix-and-match, effortless look than Costa Rican women. It’s all opposite to me. The Costa Rican women are struggling to walk around in heels while they have 2 babies on their arms. Their jeans are 4 sizes too small and their shirts match their earrings, match their bag, match their hair clip. YUK. Tacky. I stick to my black and white simplicity of a Torontonian fashion sense (everyone wears black black black like New York). And people in Costa Rica ALWAYS tell me, “Why don’t you wear colour?!” And I look at them thinking, “Why do you feel the need to match your eye shadow to your necklace?” I keep my mouth shut as the outsider living in small Costa Rican town.
I envy that you have the luxurious influence of french women. I really don’t like the Costa Rican fashion style. I try not to stare when I see giant rhinestone hearts spread across the jeans of a mother of 5.
The best is the women’s insistence on high heels which is so funny because the sidewalks are crap and I have no idea how they do it. I mean there’s a point when you cross over the line of practicality.
ANYWAY. That’s my rant. There are pros and cons to every place. Love Costa Rica. Hate the fashion.
Becoming Madame said:
Hi jodowbiggin, I come from Toronto too, at least for the last 20 years of my life. I think Toronto has for a long time wanted to be a Northern NYC, which is reflected in their fashion. Generalities about the US (and Canada) are a harder nut to crack, though, as there is a huge difference between a Californian dresser, more laid back say, and a perfectly coiffed and turned out lady from the American South (my first home) or even a lady in Maine or Montana. I suppose we could say the same of East Coasters in Canada compared to BC or a lady from Calgary – perhaps to a lesser degree. I think the real point about fashion is to feel good in what you wear and to present yourself so that your inner confidence can shine. I’m not a big fan of the tight matchstick jeans either, but I’m definitely not a fan of going around in your jogging pants or PJ bottoms and huge sweat shirt, a style that has somehow usurped many North American teenage girls these days. Fashion is certainly personal but I believe in standards of presentability. We’ve obviously lightened the burden since the Victorian days of corsets and morning suits, but have we gone a little far in some cases? Sometimes I wander. Thanks for your thoughts! Take care down in Costa Rica!
irisofthewayfarer said:
oops, I should have read your reply to jodowbiggin before posting my rant about pj bottoms, etc.
Fran! said:
“…The Costa Rican women are struggling to walk around in heels while they have 2 babies on their arms. Their jeans are 4 sizes too small and their shirts match their earrings, match their bag, match their hair clip. YUK. Tacky…” So true, I live in Costa Rica too & it causes me repulsion and a vague sense of shame for them… but I think it happens with all latinas, this all are fashion and eye sores for humankind
Angela White said:
Just found this and had to laugh. My extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) live in CR. And what you said is soo true. My mother has a couple staying with her here in the States, that prior to this trip had never left CR. It is so interesting to watch them trying to understand our culture, and unfortunately try to fit in. So many precious things about their own culture…high heels and rhinestones not withstanding.
The Flying Machine said:
OVER AT THE FLYING MACHINE, WE LOVE YOUR POST. WE SPEND A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME IN PARIS, AND WE LOVE YOUR BLOG
Becoming Madame said:
Thank you so much for the positive feedback! I hope you enjoy your time in Paris!!
Doll back the clock said:
Great post! Love the images. (Yes, lightweight fond de teint formulas are the way to go.)
ostranderblog said:
I went that way moving to Europe [ lost the foundation, ditched the over-accessorizing] more because here in Germany I spend a lot of time outside, I remember Paris being the same way. My skin looks better with a lot of water to drink, and moisturizer, but thanks for the blemish tip!
Ardys said:
From my humble observations, you are right about all of this, Madame! And you are also correct that French women are not obsessed about weight, they have a lifestyle that supports a healthy body and image, makes all the difference.
Bosartis said:
I’ve never taken to the American obsession with make up – (from an early age it seems) and I always think it ages them prematurely.
The French certainly have a facial elegance which perfectly enhances their looks and any chemical additions that are used are the most simple.
Perhaps the USA ladies are trying too hard to be adult at the age of 3 and conversely trying to be so young at the age of 50 – and all of it unnecessary, whilst others are what they are.
Becoming Madame said:
Elegantly put, Bosartis! I agree totally.
irisofthewayfarer said:
I heartily agree with your assessment.
maria criselda santos said:
Reblogged this on xoxocriseldalovestowrite.
irisofthewayfarer said:
I am from Germany but have lived in the US for over 30 years and still, I cannot run around town looking like a drag queen.
Thank you for putting it into words, hopefully your American readers understand
Thank you also for the link to the videos.
Europeans – at least back when I still lived in Europe – would never have such casual and lackadaisical dress as it is common here now. I live in the country now and see young women walking out of doors and into stores in their pajamas.
Just not much sophistication or style around here 😦
I am just a teeny tiny bit envious of your European life. Enjoy and keep sharing it with us
Becoming Madame said:
Thank you for your kind words! I was in college when that pjs in public trend began. I’ve given it a lot of thought and come to the conclusion that perhaps parents have a role to play in this arena. They certainly did in previous generations and now it seems we’ve all gotten so lackadaisical, to use your word. When my children reach the age of picking out their own clothes, I’d like to think that I’m going to be quite strict about what is appropriate and what is not. I remember as a child my mother simply told me, “No, we don’t go out in public looking like that.” I hold a little light for the really old days when gentlemen wore tophats and ladies long fabulous dresses and gorgeous hats (of course, if we were ever to go back to such a time, I think we could hold off on the corsets.) 🙂 Thank you for your comment. Take care!
Mike10613 said:
I’ve always found French women attractive, now I know why!
suzanne said:
Love this blog. Very interested in learning more about what you’ve learned about your in-laws daily beauty rituals! There are countless conflicting bits of information floating around the internet on the topic, and half of the time I’m suspicious I’m being sold something. Apparently french women all blast their faces with cold water everyday, then I read many don’t use water at all. Most french women use simple, tried traditions in daily masks of honey and strawberries, but then there’s a pharmacie on every corner, they spend much more on facial products than Americans, and they have spa facials regularly. Too much information is flooting around in my head. Please add more on this topic!
Becoming Madame said:
Dear Suzanne, I certain will! I think publicity people add the word French to a number of fads in order to make it sound chic. The truth is much different. It is true that French women spend a great deal of money on products, after all L’Oreal, Lancôme, Estee, Chanel, Dior, etc are all French companies. But it is important to look at what products are mostly used. In the pharmacies over here, you get a great deal of homeopathic products. Much less of the chemical stuff. The big names that we know back home – Lancôme, Dior, St Laurent, Chanel, Estee – as well as Revlon and Maybelline, etc are not available at the pharmacy. You have to go to a makeup store like Sephora or les Galleries shopping mall to find those products. The pharmacies are stocked with holistic type products largely based on ingredients like milk, honey, grapes, citrus, etc. It’s also true that most French women don’t make their own products, but they do tend toward the purer ones. I’ll do some more in depth posts on these topics! That’s for your comment. All my best!
T Hollis said:
“Callously Competitive” yep, sounds like women to me!
Thanks for stopping by my Post today!
Jo said:
“Some of the rituals they tell me about date from a great-great-great-grand mother who used her own cream concoction on her skin and lived well into her nineties with not a wrinkle on her face. Such secrets I am going to share with you in these pieces on French Beauty.”
I love your blog and look forward to discovering the above mentioned “secrets”. All the best from Ireland!
Jo
iinmediasres said:
Madame, I absolutely love your blog — especially the posts about French beauty secrets and products! I’m an ex-pat living in the Moroccan desert (which is probably the exact opposite of Paris), excitedly planning a trip to France and lusting over your posts! Did you ever end up making a post about your family members’ “heirloom” beauty secrets?
Louie said:
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Alyssa said:
I’m 22 years old and didn’t start wearing makeup til high school. The girls in my age group at school were wearing it by middle school! I still hardly wear makeup and I haven’t taken to the tanning beds except once in a while for a quick pick-me-up (Indiana winters are dreary)
As a consequence if wearing little to no makeup and drinking lots of water, I get compliments on my skin all the time! People ask me if I ever get pimples or breakouts and I just look at them and say…well, I’ve got a few now. Needless to say, it sparks some envy lol
I’m not concerned with covering imperfections, I’m concerned with the overall health of my skin 😀
Becoming Madame said:
You’ve got the perfect attitude! Good for you! The health of your skin and body is SO much more important than any superficial beauty trend. But it usually takes people a lot longer than 22 years to figure that out! Bravo!
Reka said:
Such an amazing summary of exactly what I was looking for! Your blog is truly amazing, I never dreamed of finding anything like it.
I am 19 years old, constantly travelling between the Us where I go to college, and my home, Hungary. I have been trying to pull my style together for a while now, but it’s not easy because of the cultural differences of the two countries. I’ve also been quite lost since I’m getting out of my teenage years, into the stylewise little more elegant, early twenties.
Thank you so much for your description and advice! Now I have somewhere to start from.
(I’m also great fan of Lisa Eldridge, but have been wearing “no makeup makeup” since high school.)
Sandra Stuka said:
Reka..Thank you for the comment on Lisa Eldridge. I love her and have watch many of her tutorials. I do know the one on “No Makeup Makeup” and I think it is wonderful and amazing. Lisa is a genius and well worth watch..
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Justy said:
You just need like, more posting like this!
I am from Indonesia, where people are starting to be American or Korean; put make up on with their biggest effort.
Annabelle said:
Raised with a serious Asian influence, I’ve always focused on skin care. As far as makeup goes I like BB creams with mascara and whatever lip color strikes my fancy. I guess since I never go “out” I’ve never though about day vs. evening makeup. At least I use sunscreen religiously. Many of my Asian counterparts love my pale skin tone so I’ve never been interested in tanning much. Healthy eating is second nature after living on a farm.
Sammy said:
Even though it is said “less is more” when it comes to wearing less make up for we older ladies…it is difficult to look in the mirror, checking our face and making sure our flaws are covered and the good points brought out. So when is too much, too much? If we don’t attempt to cover certain areas we look older…if we apply too much we look older. When is enough enough?? Easier for younger women. I watch Lisa Eldridge all the time and still cannot replicate her makeup looks. Must be something wrong…
Paula Rene` said:
Thank you so much for this website. It goes with out saying… there is more to beauty then what we are bombarded with on the media. I am so fascinated with other cultures and what they see as beautiful. I do find myself very inspired by the beauty of the French women. Living in Colorado fosters a very natural appearance, luckily. This makes it easier to maintain a minimal look where I live, sun pigmentation not withstanding……..
I do want to remark on the earlier posts of CR women’s fashion… I feel that true beauty is seeing the beauty in others regardless of their fashion choices. It changes how expressions are shown on our faces as well as the imprint it leaves on our hearts.
Now as I write this, I wonder if the ultimate beauty secret is to let go of the “callus competitiveness” and to focus on inspiration.
Maybe such deep thoughts encourage frown lines and one is best advised to keep it light as foundation..
Loulou said:
Why no search box??? “they are taught certain truths about femininity from birth”. And where can I read tis gem? 🙂
Renewing Serum said:
French beauty are simple yet elegant. They uses simple make ups and mostly saw them with “no make up” look. Confidence is really the key to become beautiful. Thanks for such informative post.