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becoming madame, France, french culture, history, Life in Paris, lifestyle, paris life, politics
I recently watched a documentary on the British Manor House culture of the Belle Edwardian époque. This time of our history fascinates me. As I was watching certain contrasts between English and French cultures began to whirl around in my mind.
In England, as we know, social strata were quite definitive 
right up until the First World War. For the French, it is generally believed that a similar social division ended with the French Revolution of 1789; that being the upper classes of the monarchy, aristocracy and clergy in contrast to the lower classes of laborers. It has been argued that the Revolution ended this divide in France on a systemic level, and the Social Revolution of 1968 on a social level. I’m not quite so sure.
For those of you who may not be aware, the French went through a major social evolution in the late 1960s. May 1968 marks the beginning of what many consider the French Social State. The Enlightenment principles of the Revolution – Liberty, Equality and Fraternity or Solidarity - were concretely put into systematic function after the manifestations and general social upheaval of 1968. What started out as a student protest, changed the face of France forever.
For more info on the French 1968 social change, I point you toward this article.
But when you look carefully at the fabric of French society, you see that although politicians and unions give lip service to social solidarity, the foundations of this country are wearing away at their seams. Pulled in a hundred directions at once, confronted by immigration, decolonization, social inequality (or can we call it difference?), overburdened state funded programs, France is not a rosy example of former social class divisions. And I venture to argue that Britain isn’t either; the difference is they don’t pretend to be.
savagechickens.com
But my point is not a political one. In fact, my own experiences of growing up with a working single mom who labored double time to keep her and I afloat lead me to believe that a healthy society needs to embrace difference among its people’s ambitions and efforts. Not everybody wants the same thing out of life and not everyone is willing to meet the same challenges to achieve what they want.
The French don’t seem to think that way.
The French still see the world through a lens of haves and have-nots. And here I generalize. They see the rich and they see the working. Somehow, it doesn’t seem as obvious to them as it does to me that a so-called have-not can work and strive to achieve the same as the so-called haves even if the latter have it easier along the way. Somehow it seems more logical to the French that opportunities be provided, obstacles removed, the path of life paved. Sometimes when this type of discussion comes up, I feel like saying, “Who ever told you that life was going to be fair? You should find that person and get your money back!” But I hold my tongue. That sort of talk doesn’t go over well in France.
The truth is: The history of mankind has never known a time without distinctions among people. We’ve always had leaders and followers, pioneers and home dwellers, risk-takers and those more prudent. But its only in the last 100 years that we’ve begun to think that regardless of these differences we are entitled to sameness…
I sometimes wonder why those former distinctions have overtime become poisonous, dangerous, devious.
To bring this around to where I began, French nobility still exists. They still have blood Royals and dukes and counts and lords. The manor houses of England are the country chateaux of France. The difference is that with the British monarchy still intact, the British seem more reverent of an English lord than the French are to their own noblesse. The French aristocracy are made to feel burdened by their lineage. They do not speak of it but among themselves.
It’s interestingly this certain shyness the French have about their family heritage, if they happen to descend from these upper echelons of society. As a new comer to this entire old-world of aristocracy, I think it is sort of a shame that 1000s of years of family history are hidden or discussed only in very private circles because other members of the society have other family lineages, different family stories.
My father-in-law once told me that you can tell a true French nobleman by the signet ring on his finger, the ‘de’ in his last name, his old beat up car and his refusal to discuss his family in public.
I wouldn’t want my children to be jealous of someone who has a distinguished family history. I myself don’t. My father comes from a long line of masons reaching back as far as we can find. They weren’t lords of the land or counts or related to royal blood lines like my belle-famille. But shouldn’t that make it all the more interesting? I’m not convinced that teaching children the virtues of sameness is the right message. People aren’t the same. We never have been.
The artificial ascension barriers of pre-Revolution France did indeed need to be broken down. Certainly. In my perfect world, people should be able to achieve what they work for and those who don’t wish to should not be given permission to hold others back. In this respect, have we gone too far?
Food for thought.
Great post! I’ve definitely noticed this divide since moving here six months ago. It’s a bit hidden, but it’s there. Good to see I’m not the only one!
I scanned down to the end of the article, and I was captivated, so back to the top I scrolled and I read, and I re-read. What a great post on better understanding valuable French history…’scratch a Bohemian, find a bourgeoisie, right? I’m new to your blog, and I’m already a huge fan…I can identify w/your spirit and soul and your nomadic unique life…Ally http://www.allyskitchen.com
Thank you, Ally. That’s very kind of you to say. I find the cultural differences between North America and France so fascinating, even though there seem to be so few, save the language, at first glance. Thanks for stopping by!
I guess I’m a follower of Walt Whitman here. The important thing isn’t that all be the SAME–in fact, the glory and strength of a society comes from its diversity, not its sameness. The important thing is that all be VALUED. I’ve never met anyone who had no strengths, no worth, nothing to share or contribute. But I have met a few people (of many many I have not met) who have heard the message of their society that in fact they were among the worthless, and have internalized this message. Those are the people who cease to contribute (and some who contribute negatively, i.e. as criminals). A healthy society values (and supports) the potential of all its members, and communicates that conviction. In contrast, a society that measures everyone only by how much money a person can accumulate, or whose ancestors were friends or relatives of a king long ago, or who has the most guns, or who is the most “beautiful,” or…pick your criterion…is a bad society. The artist, the scholar, the builder, the businessperson, the teacher, the doctor, the good cook, the crossing guard, the farmer, the philosopher, the social worker, the benefactor, the inventor, the poet, the statesman, the curator of antiquities, the maid, the dreamer of the new, the loyal worker, the responsible parent, the dancer: all have value. Let me live in that society.
On the subject of social change in France and the world: the film The Grand Illusion is a moving and important picture of another moment in history when social structures were realigned. One of my ten favorite films.
Rab, what a brilliantly eloquent reply. I agree with you whole-heartedly! Let me live in the society you describe where we all participate and are thus appreciated! I do find that France has a certain level of this solidarity, if that is what we can call it. More than I ever found while living in the US or Canada. The way the French greet everyone chivalrously at every single interaction from the baker in the morning to the bus driver on the way to work to the President at some special event. There are many aspects of French culture I greatly admire. Thank you very much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment. I’ll look into the film you suggested. All my best from Paris.
Yes, that’s it exactly!
Being ashamed of one’s heritage is a sure sign of a restive society where people are not valued equally. I would be interested to see a society where they are.
What it comes down to is whether or not as an entire culture, we (whoever the “we” may be) have the ability to forgive people for being human. I don’t mean as in having made “a human mistake,” but rather having been consumed by greed. Humans start to gather things in order to survive and then they cannot stop. Before you know it, some people have palaces and others can barely eat. I have come to think that, currently and historically, social hierarchies and political systems aren’t really about keeping order as much as they focus on certain people keeping their things…and then attempting to acquire yours.
But some are “better” than others, let’s be honest.
I think it all might have to do with my great-aunt’s fat ankles (stay with me here). My father says that we become the people we mock. Thus, I check my ankles a lot, because I fear that he’s right. I also fear we become the people we cannot forgive. Think about he attention you give to people you don’t care for. You notice everything about them, study them practically. It happens to individuals and to entire societies. The greed comes in waves.
It’s hard to forgive. And it’s so very easy not to. We all intend to live in the present and to earn our own way, but there is often a nagging voice within us, urging us to take notice of people with more. We wonder if they deserve what they have. And every little injustice, like a person cutting in line, makes us feel more and more like we are owed something. And so we cut in line, too. Because we deserve to get ahead, right?
Maybe things in history have never been fair because we have never made any real effort to stop its constant reenactment. I wish humans could do better.
Wow, chiddada, extremely well said, and very well written, by the way. Love the great-aunt’s ankles bit! Welcome. And thank you for your thought-provoking comment! Take care.
Well said! Engaging commentary, too.